official modern love letter, in case u need one... Options

[Romeo]

just in case u happen to meet a lovely girl here, this is how u should write an official love letter to her..

Dearest Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that i have fallen in love with you since wednesday 16th march 2005. With reference to the meeting held between you and me on the said day at 1600 hours, i would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three months, and depending on compatibility, will be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous relationship training and relationship appraisal shemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, i might take up a larger share of the expenses. However, i am broad-minded enough to be taken care of on your expenses account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and i shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.

yours sincerely

Romeo

[ChuUt_Cali]

just in case u happen to meet a lovely girl here, this is how u should write an official love letter to her..

Dearest Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that i have fallen in love with you since wednesday 16th march 2005. With reference to the meeting held between you and me on the said day at 1600 hours, i would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three months, and depending on compatibility, will be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous relationship training and relationship appraisal shemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, i might take up a larger share of the expenses. However, i am broad-minded enough to be taken care of on your expenses account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice and i shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation.

yours sincerely

Romeo

If I were a girl and I happened to just receive such an arrogant letter, I would borrow a quote from "Rejection" by Franz Kafka to write my response.

"You are no Duke with a famous name, no broad American with a Red Indian figure, level, brooding eyes and a skin tempered by the air of the prairies and the rivers that flow through them. You have never journeyed to the seven seas and voyaged on them whereever they may be, I don't know where. So why, pray, should a pretty girl like myself go with you?" - (Rejection-Franz Kafka)

And as far as my sister is concerned, she is just a young underage girl with no mind about romance. I must kindly warn you that she is well protected from the kind of predators like you. Any attempt from you to seduce her will get the utmost attention not only from my family, but also from the long arms of the laws, and punishment will be much severe. This letter of intrusion under normal circumstance should be kept as an evidence of your mischief and to be presented to the authority in case of any incident in the future. However, this is only the first time, and I am generous enough to return the letter to you. You can quietly pick it up this Friday morning in the garbage can outside of my residence between 7:00 and 9:00 in the morning. I must advice you to retrieve your letter promptly in between those hours lest if falling into a wrong hand, grave consequences may soon follow, and you're the one at the receiving end.

This letter of mine will be the final of any communication from me to you. Any response won't be necessary.

Sincerely

ChuUt_Cali
(on behalf and in behalf of a pretty girl )

[little_duck]

This is our normal practise as a reply to this kind of love letters:

Dear duck applicant,

Thanks for your interest and invitation for a date. We, the duck family, appreciate your sincerity.

Upon receiving of your CV, if selected, you will be arranged for a series of duck interviews. First interview will be taken place at The Duck Hotel, Paris on the next summer, 06 June 06. Please email to my duck secretary for confirmation of attendance. Kindly noted that there will be possibly another 50 duck candidates same session with you.

Further enquiries will not be entertained.

Many thanks!

little_duck's Dad

[convoiyeuco]

This is our normal practise as a reply to this kind of love letters:

Dear duck applicant,

Thanks for your interest and invitation for a date. We, the duck family, appreciate your sincerity.

Upon receiving of your CV, if selected, you will be arranged for a series of duck interviews. First interview will be taken place at The Duck Hotel, Paris on the next summer, 06 June 06. Please email to my duck secretary for confirmation of attendance. Kindly noted that there will be possibly another 50 duck candidates same session with you.

Further enquiries will not be entertained.

Many thanks!

little_duck's Dad

[secret_note]

hey...why r u people always so cruel here... Romeo was just being too straight and i see nothing wrong with it. i m sure there are some girls who sincerely wish to accept his offer..
an ideal reply would be something like this...

Dear Romeo..

Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that i hope to accept your proposal for romance. however, u should be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance.
promotional prospects are to be to my satisfaction. however please enlighten me as to the retirement benefits. gratuity should be extremely generous. i also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with regards to this commitment. if there is any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then i should receive monetary compensation according to standard set by me. due to the nature of my position, i am sure u will agree that an unlimited expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the VIP i shall be entertaining. in addition, housing and transport allowances should be in order, and nothing less than a Ferrari is to be expected.
please also note that there should be no moonlighting restriction placed on myself. if u are still interested in the relationship, please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of interest. please also note that my sister is happily engaged.

Yours perhaps

Juliet

[ChuUt_Cali]

  hey...why r u people always so cruel here... Romeo was just being too straight and i see nothing wrong with it. i m sure there are some girls who sincerely wish to accept his offer..
an ideal reply would be something like this...

Dear Romeo..

Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that i hope to accept your proposal for romance. however, u should be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance.
promotional prospects are to be to my satisfaction. however please enlighten me as to the retirement benefits. gratuity should be extremely generous. i also need to be assured that there is sufficient security with regards to this commitment. if there is any chance at all of retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then i should receive monetary compensation according to standard set by me. due to the nature of my position, i am sure u will agree that an unlimited expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the VIP i shall be entertaining. in addition, housing and transport allowances should be in order, and nothing less than a Ferrari is to be expected.
please also note that there should be no moonlighting restriction placed on myself. if u are still interested in the relationship, please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of interest. please also note that my sister is happily engaged.

Yours perhaps

Juliet

My Dearest Juliet,

Very well written, my good lovely friend Juliet a.k.a. secret_note! Nevertheless, I would like to caution you about imminent danger of living a fast and extravagant life.

You will be surrounded by several body guards. You'll be living in a house full of servants but none of them will dare to hang around you in close proximity. They do not want to look right into your eyes. Some of them may even despise you, but on the surface, they will pretend to act submissively and will praise you and agree with you on everything you say. At night when you sleep with all the security around you, finding someone to cuddle into sleep will be tough. You'll never have a thing other odinary people call privacy. At your very move, papparazies (sp?) will follow you to take photographs or compete to stick microphones all the way up to your nose. Sometimes, when you are at the beach and it seems that there are no one around you and you feel at easy to do the natural things such as running nude, and boom , a few weeks later, your nude pictures will be all over the morning news with grandma, granpa, and the children watching Ah, and about the Farrari, you may have your name on the registration as a legitimate owner, but you won't have the joy of driving it anyway because your driver will already take care of that. You won't have the experience and the feeling of driving down the highway with the convertible top down having the sun shines on your face and the wind passes swiftly by your ears because you're afraid those things would call damages to your skin naturally enhanced with artificial cosmetic agents. Furthermore, due to your position, many men with sexual appeal will be courting you and who knows what or where they might have been, sexually transmitted deseases may take a hold.

So, having been a good friend of yours for the past ......... several days , I would advice you to deeply and carefully consider your acceptance of the romance.
You will be better cared for with ordinary man like myself.

Sincerely yours,

ChuUt_Cali

(All I want is a good woman, a few hundreds heads of cattles, and piece of land where the grasses grow -Louis L'Amour)

[jasmineuk]

If i were a guy.....

Dearest Juliet,

I am no duke with a famous name, no British charming figure with sharp nose, green eyes, blonde hair; nor blonde hair neither fair skin. I have never journeyed to the seven seas, neither climb the Mount Everest.. no money no education no nothing... But, I am very unique, you cant find a second one like me.

You can have my heart, my mind and my soul, i am all yours. and that is your everything, your whole world. I love all what you love. If i'd ever make you angry or cry, that's all my fault. My life aim is to make you happy, pretty, blissful. I dont never ever promise anything, all what i asked for is..... to trust me.

Would you please marry me my little princess?

Love never fails,
Romeo