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> truyện cười, st
RijikTok
post Jan 9 2007, 07:27 AM
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Simple game, say a word for the next poster to spell, but awnser theirs first.
I'll start.

Spell dichlorodipheneltrichloroethane.

Dont point out the huge flaw in this that renders it pointless will you?

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Fasatron
post Jan 11 2007, 09:15 AM
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An oldie but a goodie ...

There were three women sitting in a doctor's office, a blond, a
brunette, and a red-head. They were all pregnant.

"I'm having a boy because I was on the bottom," said the brunette.

"Well, I'm having a girl because I was on top," said the red-head.

All of a sudden the blond started crying. They asked her what was
wrong. "I'm having puppies," exclaimed the blond.
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radiusX
post Jan 11 2007, 11:54 AM
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I'm horrible at coming up with jokes... and I'm part jewish and this one kid din't know it and made jew joke after jew joke so naturally I started getting a little annoyed... then I came up with the only joke I have ever come up with...

What's red white and blue and laying in a ditch??
A little aryan boy who told to many jew jokes


It's not that good but he shut his mouth atleast... biggrin.gif
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DrPointer
post Jan 16 2007, 06:52 PM
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A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly." smile.gif
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MultName
post Jan 18 2007, 04:56 PM
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hiya everyone
i'm karl and i live in the UK
found the forum through google
and loving what i see so far...

i'm new - play nice with me smile.gif
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PultSalut
post Jan 19 2007, 07:27 AM
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For all those men who say:
Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?

Here's an update for you!!

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.

WHY you might ask?

Here's your answer:
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
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Velikanchs
post Jan 24 2007, 11:07 AM
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This horse on a farm goes up to the cow and goes, "I have a bigger dick than you" then he beats him up. The horse then goes up to a sheep and goes "I have a bigger dick than you" and beats him up too. He then goes up to the female cat and says "I have a bigger dick than you" and the cat replies "I don’t have a dick" then she beats up the horse.
The moral of the story is, no matter how big the dick, the pussy can always take it.
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Proletariy
post Jan 25 2007, 08:43 AM
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> >
> >A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant,
>and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as
>she sits alone at a nearby table.
> >
> >The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
> >
> >"Yes," sighs the husband, "She' s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she
>took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear
>she hasn't been sober since."
> >
> >says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on
>celebrating that long?
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vulkanolog
post Jan 25 2007, 10:13 AM
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A Honeymoon Surprise

A guy out on the golf course took a high-speed ball right to the nuts. Writhing in agony, he fell to the ground. When he finally got himself to the doctor, he asked,“How bad is it, Doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé is still a virgin.”

The doctor said, “I’ll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay in about two weeks.” Then the doctor took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.

The guy mentioned none of this to his girl and the two got married. On their honeymoon night, she opened her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts and told him, “You’ll be the first; no one has ever touched these before.”

The new husband dropped his pants and said, “Look at this �#8221; it’s still in the crate!”
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Asterroit
post Jan 31 2007, 11:59 AM
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Pancakes

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some
hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be
in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him
pancakes... That should solve the problem."

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack
of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"

"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father.":-)
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Skridochka
post Jan 31 2007, 12:03 PM
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A love story
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail then."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
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Traversit
post Feb 1 2007, 05:50 AM
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Hello all on forums.xiangqiclub.com! This is always a touchy subject for me and my boyfriend. He believes that women should not make as much as man if she is going to have to leave her job when she gets pregnant.

Now I agree I think its important to take off even after a baby is born and take care of your child, however, I dont see how we should be penalized for it.
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Mechenosec
post Feb 6 2007, 11:04 PM
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A koala is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says to the koala "Hey! What are you doing?" The koala says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.
After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks him what's the matter. The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest,finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says - "Hey you!" The koala looks down and says: "Faaaaarrrrk dude...how much water did you drink?!!" smile.gif
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termometrs
post Feb 7 2007, 06:48 AM
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an old couple were both getting to their last days of living and one night the old man said to his wife " can you give me one thing before we die"

and the wife said "ok what would you like"

he replied " would you give me blowjob"

"only if i can something i want in return" said the wife

the old man agreed and his wife started sucking him off.

After she had finnished she came up from under the covers with a mouth full and said "now i want a snog."
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Akulinas
post Feb 8 2007, 05:36 PM
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MARRIED FOR A NIGHT

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.


At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.
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